Trading a Bad Persona for a Worse One
Circa 1980. We can all criticize others for their lack of persona or their bad persona. But, the reality is that it took me a couple of tries before I got it right. You may be in the same boat.
Growing up, I was an awkward kid with a lot of pimples, a real loner. I had friends, but no close relationships. I liked girls but wasn't exactly the most popular guy with the ladies. I had pretty low self-esteem.
All of this led to a conclusion: I would give myself a personality makeover while I was in college. No one at my school had known me before, so I saw the start of my career in college as an opportunity for a personality do-over. I decided to reinvent myself.
What new persona did I choose? The big mouth guy who showed off at every opportunity, of course! I was convinced that some girls would like it, and I thought that this particular persona would earn me respect from other guys. It worked.
A couple of positives came out of my improvement experiment. I learned that it was possible to change my persona and with it, other people’s perceptions of me. I also learned that I was more of a leader than I knew.
But, the new me had a dark side. I basically became really good at being a shallow jerk. The new persona was simply a façade to mask my insecurity – it didn’t solve the problem. It just kept it out of sight.
Think about it...
The result of all my effort to change my persona amounted to a temporary fix for an immature kid. Instead of having character, I became a character. I became someone I wasn't, and I didn't like it. Today, the man the world sees is the same one I see every day in the mirror, an imperfect man who is doing his best to be a husband, dad and leader. Change takes time...but it's worth it. At the end of the day who REALLY wants to have such a phony, meaningless existence?
Joe Pellegrino is an author, speaker and consultant for Not Just An Average Joe, LLC. Have thoughts of your own? Send them to email@example.com. ©2017 Not Just An Average Joe, LLC.